Or to put it another way: build your own goddam playground. Then charge tickets.
September 12, 2012
Hey XXXX,
I hear you are on probation this year, which means you’ve
been quite the troublemaker. I won’t
give you any shit for it, because I was the same way.
Back in my (Highschool) days, we had a student handbook – do you
guys still have that? Anyway, the last
six or seven pages of our student handbook back then was just a bunch of blank
pages with lines on it. What was it
for? That was where the Discipline
Officer listed down all the student’s offenses:
polo shirt unbuttoned, collar raised, late for class, dirty pants,
wearing rubber shoes, too noisy, in a fistfight, disrespecting the teacher,
etc, etc, etc...
I do not know who the new king of the handbook is now, but
by the time I graduated (Highschool), I was the ONLY student ever to be able to
fill up those last pages of the handbook. That was my claim to fame – longest rap
sheet.
I used to take exams by submitting test papers with only my
name written on it. That was my way of
saying “I don’t know any of this shit, and I don’t care.”
Of course I’d get a zero for the exam, but not before I got
to watch how confused the teacher got when she saw a blank page with my name
written on top. She had a look on her
face like she thought she must have gone blind.
Inside I was thinking “That’s right bitch, I got no answers
for you!”
Another time, I wasn’t in the mood (and hadn’t studied) for
an exam. I already did the blank page
bit, so I thought it would be more fun to fill my page with incredibly
ridiculous wrong answers.
Q: “Bakit nagalit si
Padre Damaso kay Florante?”
A: “Kasi tinago niya
yung tsinelas ni Padre Damaso sa kubeta.”
That teacher, she was LIVID.
She was madder than an unpaid prostitute. She thought she would totally give it to me
and embarrass me by calling me out in class.
“Ang magaling na si
Ronald Regis, binaboy ang exam!”
Then she started reading out my answers to the class. That was supposed to embarrass me and “teach
me a lesson.”
Nope. She made me a
star.
I have to tell you something though – and this is
important: Every time I did a stunt like
that, I always made sure I could afford it.
For example, if I was going to score zero on an exam, I first
made sure that my average – even with that zero – would still exceed 75. That way I could have my rebellious bit of
fun and still pass. Nothing says “FU” to
the system like completely tossing out an exam and still passing.
In High School we had a Mandarin class. We had to learn to speak Chinese, because
one-third of the planet’s population spoke it.
Me, I thought, “whatever, until they put out some good Chinese movies
that aren’t dubbed or subtitled in English, I officially don’t give a cow’s
testicle.”
But, man, I did not want to fail. So what do I do?
I get a 95 in the first two quarters. Does (Highschool) still have that grading
system? In our day, lowest was 70
(fail), then 75 (pass), and on and on till 95 (highest).
So yeah, I learned the crap out of that stupid
language. I could count to ten, write
their alphabet, and say useless things like “Good morning teacher” and “Happy
birthday to you.”
Now do the math: I got two 95’s in two quarters. If I fail the third and fourth, I get a 70
each time. Add that up and divide by
four, I still average an above-average 82.5!
So come third quarter, the Mandarin teacher (she was a sweet sexy thing,
but that’s another story) comes to me all worried that I was failing and not
taking the class seriously anymore. She
must’ve thought I was depressed or something.
So I had to spell it out for her.
“Nothing personal, ma’am, but even if you give me a failing
grade this quarter and next, I still pass.
So I’m just gonna take it easy.
Real easy.”
So, XXXX, I’m not going to give you crap for misbehaving and
being a mischievous rat in school. Coz
it’s fun and adventure. BUT I
will repeat this: make sure you can
afford the consequences. In other words,
earn the right to mess around. Do just
enough to have fun, but not too much that you get into irreversible trouble.
Wait a sec, how old are you?
I hope your mom doesn’t read this foulmouthed letter. She shouldn’t. It’s not addressed to her, for Christ’s sake!
Take it easy (but work hard first!)
